Set boundaries as you return to normal life

If it's difficult to set effective boundaries in life, know that you're definitely not alone. The inability to say what our limits are is one of the things that quickly leads to burnout, but so many of us find that our physical and emotional limits are constantly being exceeded. Saying “yes” to every invitation, working too much, training too much, allowing others to throw problems at us, and generally acting from a place of fear are all things that blur boundaries and set us up for compromised well-being. However, a clear understanding of where our boundaries lie not only helps us feel more confident about how much we accept and what we reject, but it also increases self-esteem, which (encourages?) others respect us too.

Recognize your “yes” and “no” to set boundaries

We have built in mechanisms that intuitively tell us when boundaries have been crossed - consider it yoursBorder barometer.Your body is always sending you signals about whether something is a “yes” or a “no,” and these can be felt physically if we take a moment to tune in. Think of something that is a definite “yes” for you. It could be your name, where you live, or what day of the week it is (although it's been hard to tell at times this past year...).FeelingWhere is this yes in your body? Does it feel like a warm glow? A tingling sensation in your shoulders? A softening of your stomach? The clues may be subtle, but they are there. Then ask yourself something that is a definite no and listen again. Does your no feel like a tightening in your stomach? Are your shoulders tense? Does your breathing change? Listen carefully because these are the clues that tell you when boundaries are being crossed. Using card decks like this (link removed) can help strengthen the connection to your inner being, increase intuition, and provide affirmations to guide you through the day.

Physically

Despite the closure of gyms and yoga studios for much of the past year, there have been plenty of options to get fit and healthy. Online classes, HIIT sessions, jogging initiatives and the hour-long daily outdoor exercise that has been seen as an important part of Britain's mental and physical health throughout lockdown. With so many fitness classes focused on online platforms, social media seemed to scream "exercise," which, while motivating for some, proved detrimental to the well-being of others.

There is a growing conversation about eating disorders and over-exercising that hasn't received nearly the attention it needs in the past. The obsession with fitness primarily affects young women and is something that sports dieters and eating disorder experts are concerned aboutRenee Mcgregorhelps her clients work through it and has noticed an increase in behavioral problems in the last year. Her words highlight something all too common;"Another big challenge I've had to overcome with many clients during this lockdown is social comparison. These individuals are constantly comparing themselves upwards to everyone else. We live in a time where we have extra opportunities to scroll through social media and with so many people posting about their training and the rich provision of online workouts, this is affecting their self-critical mindset. "I'm not enough, I'm not doing enough, I have to do more,” without thinking that their poor bodies are already being punished more than enough or that what is being published is just a snapshot of that person’s day.

If scrolling, self-comparison, and feeling like you need to do more this year have surfaced for you, it's helpful to think about where your actions are coming from. Are you acting out of fear and comparison or out of love and authenticity?Journaling is a powerful self-reflection tool and a potentially transformative self-care practice.As we return to the world of public gyms and classes, take a class that combines movement with creativity like dance, or opt for a hike with friends in nature - social medianot included.Remember that rest is the body's way of finding balance. So at the end of a busy day, calm yourself back down in the world (link removed) andessential oils. Listen carefully and your body will always tell you what it needs.

At work

If you've worked from home in the last year, you've probably already crossed a lot of boundaries. Responding to emails after dinner? Checking work notifications in the middle of the night? Ironically, workMorenow than ever before? Whether you continue to work from home or go back to the office, it's always helpful to review workplace boundaries. Communicate clearly and let your team know that you will not respond to emails after 7pm (because who can really expect that from you?), delegate when appropriate (do you really need to care)everythingYou are asked to do this?) and remember the art of the proverbNo.When your boss asks you to take on a different load, listen to your internal limit barometer. Are you reaching the point of burnout or do you feel open and able to take on the work? If you're invited to meetings that you don't have to attend, explain how you can use the time more productively. If you spend a lot of time on screens, try thisthe heavenly soothing eye pillowto relieve sore eyes and optimize sleep. Check in regularly to ensure you're sticking to your limits and taking regular breaks, which can make you more productive in the long run.

In relationships

How much are you willing and able to take on? Although it is a truly valuable quality to haveTheFriend who everyone trusts to carry the weight of everyone else's problems can become incredibly stressful - especially if you don't share the weight ofHerProblems with them too. If you tend to find yourself in the middle of gossip or being asked to keep everyone's secrets, start observing what your natural boundaries are. Is there a point where you feel like problems are being “thrown” at you? Or A friend calls just to complain for the third time in a row without asking how you are? It's great when friends can talk to us, but it's harmful when they start talkingat theus. Try starting conversations by talking about neutral topics that don't concern your personal life, or asking for their opinion on a social or cultural issue. It can also be helpful to actually ask your friends how you can support them so they can take responsibility for their needs. If you're a "fixer," you'll likely feel more exhausted by your friends' problems because you feel like you have to solve them. The truth is, friends don't always want you to offer solutions. they just want to be heard. Validate their feelings by telling them that you hear them and are there for them, but instead of shortening them by responding with a solution, let them vent without getting caught up.

Personal space

Making plans may seem exciting as we go out into the world again, but make sure you don't commit to too much too soon. Boundaries are not only there for others, but also for us. It's not just an over-scheduled work calendar that burns us out, but a personal one too. With a planner likethe positive plannercan help you track where your energy and attention is directed. Remember, you don’t have to say “yes” to every invitation. Spending time alone is a necessity to recharge; and that onlySheKnow when something is a “yes” or a “no”… Listen carefully.