5 practices for overcoming inner criticism

Do you notice an excess of mind chatter? Are you a little too hard on yourself or too self-critical? We all have days when it's difficult to deal with the voices in our head, but by learning to deal with the "inner critic," we can direct our energy toward cultivating a state of mind that swaps stress, calm, and negative self-talk for powerful self-compassion.

What is the inner critic?

The “inner critic” is a term often used by psychologists to identify negative thoughts we may have about ourselves. If you've ever told yourself you're not good enough or felt guilty about your size, that's the inner critic. If you generally speak with sentences like'you are stupid'or“She’s so much better than me,”or you're operating from a place of lack, it's likely you're letting your inner critic run the show. Yogis have been dealing with this voice in their heads for thousands of years; After all, the definition of yoga is;“Chitta Vritti Nirodaha”or “the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind.” For years, many of us have lived a life that is determined by the fluctuations and critical voices in our heads. They feel ashamed and guilty about who we are or deny us the opportunity to become the best we can be.

This inner critic is often viewed as an amalgamation of words and phrases that are repeatedly told to us as children and carried with us as patterns of behavior throughout life. If you were often told that you weren't smart enough as a child, it's likely that those words still echo in your head today. Originally, the inner critic helped us survive - good decisions equal life, while bad decisions and cloudy thinking lead to rapid decline, but now the volume needs to be turned down. The inner critic is occasionally helpful when we really need to change quickly, but more often than not, excessive self-criticism signals danger to the nervous system and puts us in “fight, flight, and freak out” mode. Being overly self-critical means we are more likely to feel stressed and overwhelmed, leaving little room for self-compassion, which in turn leads to greater happiness and calm and empathy for others.

Empathy, compassion and cultural values

Empathy is defined as“The ability to understand and share the feelings of another”and empathy toward others is something that indicates the ability to have understanding and compassion for ourselves. Is empathy the same all over the world? Turns out, not so...In a list of the most and least self-compassionate countries, Britain is one of the least compassionate countries.Is it the traditional British “stiff upper lip”, a reluctance to speak openly about mental health until recently, or perhaps the weather that makes us less understanding of others and therefore less understanding of ourselves? Even if many of us in the UK have inherited a self-critical mindset, it is never too late to change this. We don't need to continue patterns of negative self-talk, self-imposed stress, and hyperperfectionism, all of which trigger a stress response in the body and mind. If we want to feel happier, healthier and more balanced on a consistent basis, we workwithInstead ofagainstOur inner critic is the way to go. As the author ofChatter: The voice in our head, why it matters and how to use itItEthan Kross says; “The point is not to silence the inner critic, but to direct it.”

There are key practices that can make a big difference when it comes to working with your inner critic. Read on to find out how you can get started today:

Start a Journaling Practice:

Journaling can be an incredibly insightful way to understand how the mind works. There are many ways to keep a journal, whether you use prompts or simply write a “stream of consciousness” in which any thoughts that enter the mind are written onto the page.The diary 'You are loved'is a perfect option if you are working to overcome the harmful voice of the inner critic. Personally, I resisted journaling for a long time, but in recent years it has become an integral part of my self-care practice.

Choose a mantra:

The word “mantra” loosely translates as “that which directs the mind,” from the words “manas,” meaning “mind,” and “tra,” a root word that refers to travel and direction. The words we use are deeply imprinted on the mind. So if you've noticed your inner critic saying certain phrases like "I'm not good enough," choose a mantra like "I'm good enough" or "I value myself." Usinga set of mala beadscan help make the practice more meditative and work deeper into the subconscious.

Rest:

Listening to the inner critic puts a lot of strain on the nervous system, and it is often the inner critic that pushes us beyond our physical and mental limits. To channel your energy positively, commit to resting and restoring more, which will give your nervous system a much-needed break and reset the mind. A restorative practice that focuses on opening the heart can work wonders. Choose gentle backbends witha cushionfor support and Savasana withan eye pillowfor deep rest.

Metta Bhavna Meditation:

Metta Bhavna is the Buddhist loving-kindness meditation that helps develop compassion for others and ourselves. The practice involves sending thoughts of love and kindness to those we love, to those we find challenging, to those we are indifferent to, and finally to ourselves. Read for a deeper insight into the practicethisPost.

Maintain mindfulness:

Be aware of how your thoughts continue to shape your life. Do you notice certain situations that bring out the inner critic or certain patterns of self-talk that you still get stuck in? As you continue your practice of recording, meditating, resting, and repeating a helpful mantra, keep in mind how your thoughts may fluctuate throughout the rest of the day and direct your mind's energy thereShewants it to go. Remember, it's not about silencing your inner critic, it's about guiding it wisely.