Feeling when there is no feeling left

Feeling when there is no feeling left

I'm in a place called Vertigo; It's everything I wish I didn't know; Unless you give me something I can feel.

~U2, dizziness, 2004.

Dizziness, emotional or spiritual, leads to confusion and even numbness - as a self-protection mechanism when our world is just too much.

When things are chaotic, we run with the cops in Pamplona or scurry to the privacy of a safehouse. Both leave us afraid of our true feelings. One adopts activity as a cover for denial. The other embraces loneliness – even of the self.

This may be due to acute grief, overload, or even the heart's bleeding desire to reconnect with Jesus after a long period of drought.

However, feeling when there is no feeling is an indulgent response to this amazing dizziness.

APPROACH CHANGE IN A NEW WAY

To enable such a compliant response, a change in the modus operandi is required.

We can only imagine that the Lord has blessed us through these dizzinesses, because we know when there is no feeling anymore, it is God'sfeltAttendance is gone too; not the Lord's presence, but oursperceptionof that. We don't feel it.

This is an important note; a beautifully salient reminder that we have left the reservation that is in God's will - and we all do. Most of the time it is unintentional. Change almost always overtakes us; we don't usually expect change very well. Who really has the vision of a wise man?

A new approach to change focuses on trusting the randomness in what has caused our emotions to falter.

TRUST RANDOMNESS

The seeming madness and confusion of life is simply a test or temptation - will we choose Jesus and the simplicity of truth and peace or will we run the gauntlet?

Preferring Jesus is a step toward feeling when feeling is no longer there.

God gives us tests on silver plates all the time. However, Satan throws temptations at us; sneaky and under the table. Tests are supposed to make us grow. Temptations are designed to deceive, weaken and destroy us.

Running this gauntlet above is to deny the dizziness - this life is somehow solvable. How many people self-immolate or completely fail in their purpose because they are betrayed, weakened, and ultimately destroyed?

Of course, a life without Jesusis notsolvable.

Living with Jesus relies on a secret - it helps us develop faith, feelings and thoughts to accept the things we cannot change.

Randomness, which is both a test and a temptation, is designed to help us when we face the truth, but it will hinder us when we go our own way.

As the song Vertigo says - and we imagine Jesus saying this - "Give me what I want! [your obedience] and no one will be hurt." If we rely on God's insight rather than our own and always acknowledge Him, the Lord will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

© 2011 SJ Wickham.