Orthorexia - Are you obsessed with healthy eating?

Orthorexia - Are you obsessed with healthy eating?

Body confidence

A few months ago I took an online course on body trust from Be Nourished. It has hugely influenced the way I think about my body, my weight, my diet and my exercise. I had gained quite a bit of weight in my early 40s and no matter what I did, nothing would budge it. I learned a lot about nutrition and exercise.

I was very ashamed of my weight and appearance and it affected my ability to be in the world and be seen. My thoughts during the day were occupied with exercise and I took as many steps as possible. I had a Fitbit and the Fit Bit scale and was constantly thinking about food, exercise and how to lose weight. I hated looking in the mirror and felt like I wasn't doing enough to keep my weight down.

I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism in 2016 and had to have blood tests for my thyroid and liver for 6 weeks. Two of the tests for my liver showed that my enzymes were elevated.

When I took the Body Trust course, I realized that my relationship with my body was really controlling. One of the memes they have on their website is“We cannot hate ourselves into a version of ourselves that we can love.”The shame I felt was that we live in a fat-phobic society and we think we can diet our way to losing weight and becoming the size we want to be while still having a loving relationship with our bodies. We can't.

Fat shaming

We are not the problem, our society has dysfunctional values ​​and makes us believe that we can control our weight if we just apply ourselves correctly.

I wanted to fit in so I wouldn't feel embarrassed. I wanted to be invisible and not stand out, and being overweight made me feel like I was standing out too much. I thought I had attracted too much negative attention.

Healthy food

I knew so much about food. I had tried many diets that all seemed to focus on healthy eating. The wheat belly diet, paleo, plant paradox, eat right for your blood type. I've tried them all. Nothing made a difference but I told myself that I eat healthy so I must have a slow metabolism or it's my thyroid affecting my weight or its high cortisol due to the stress from the earthquakes.

I had very good self-control. I couldn't take sugar, no wheat, no gluten, and I was always trying a new way to eat, importing food from overseas or tracking down ingredients across the country. I had tons and tons of vitamins and supplements. My body was like an obsession, wanting to change it, to control what I ate and how I moved.

Orthorexia

Orthorexia is the other end of the spectrum of eating disorders. It's an obsession with healthy eating. It can be virtuous and elitist, shaming anyone who doesn't eat healthily. It's very covert because it looks like you're taking really good care of yourself. I told myself I would just keep up with the trends, the different chefs who were writing healthy cookbooks. I optimized my health. I put a lot of pressure on myself to eat perfectly. My best friend had died of pancreatic cancer and that scared the crap out of me. I gave food a lot of power to hurt me and I was very rigid about what I ate.

In fact, I think the way I ate contributed to my thyroid disease. I've since read that low carbs can throw your thyroid out of whack.

steering

I learned everything on the course about how to take the shame out of food, out of my obsession with my height and weight. I realized that I was also obsessed with exercise in an unhealthy way. I sold my fit and scale. I was very afraid of not thinking about exercise and eating anymore. I feared I would become a fat guy, I would eat everything in sight, I would have no self-control.

But actually self-control was the problem. It was all fear-based and very rigid. When you restrict your food intake, even just a healthy diet, your body goes into survival mode. Part of it is that your brain tricks you into obsessing about food, and all these foods that you crave. It ensures that you survive and eat more than just a restricted diet.

Intuitive eating

With intuitive eating, you trust your body to guide you toward what you eat. All food has equal value, you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. And you can eat for emotional reasons. You guessed it, I ate all the things I had denied myself, it was great. And I was so happy. So full. In fact, I ate a lot less because I was satisfied because I ate what I wanted. I didn't try to fill up on something I didn't want, just thought I should eat.

So the pendulum swung in the opposite direction. Then it slowly began to return to the center. I noticed I wasn't eating ice cream, I felt sluggish and slimy. That I didn't eat as much sugar, that it didn't have the same appeal for me. That I wanted to train more naturally instead of sneaking around on a machine.

Freedom

I took a blood test and lo and behold my liver enzymes were in range. I began to focus on other things because my mind wasn't occupied with thinking about food and exercise and controlling my body. I got a new haircut and reading glasses, all things I was too afraid to do because I didn't want to think about my body and how I looked.

I now feel much more comfortable talking to people and don't feel self-conscious about my weight. I used to obsess over how big my belly was, but now I don't even think about it. I don't know how much I weigh and I'm not ashamed.

One important thing that really impacted my relationship with food was learning that when we enjoy food, we absorb more nutrients. All that held his nose to eat broad beans made no difference.

Our body's intelligence is much wiser than us, so it's time to listen to and trust our body.