The importance of friendship and connection

Over the last 14 months, the definition of connection has changed – for all of us. Its meaning has changed as we connected with our friends and family and adjusted to the pandemic through various lockdown states. Personally, I quickly realized that connection became really important during these challenging times. And what it revealed about my relationships, past, present and evolving friendships was truly enlightening.

According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS) and its(link removed)5% of the 2.6 million adults in the UK said they often or always felt lonely between April and May 2020.

How connection can positively impact your career and life

Nearly 25 years later, something a psychic friend had told me now makes sense: There was a strong American connection around me. There weren't any more details than that, but it was something that kept coming up over the years.

Case in point: I met in 2007(link removed), an American, at Triyoga in Primrose Hill. I practiced with Anna for many years and was inspired by her knowledge and passion for honoring the roots of yoga. I completed her 350-hour Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) as well as a 33-hour Restorative Yoga course she created for Triyoga. Anna remains my teacher to this day. Another fun fact: Triyoga was created in Tribeca, New York.

I have made some great connections through yoga. Some have turned into solid friendships in which I have received a degree of emotional support and encouragement. It's something I never expected when I walked into my first yoga class. While I was doing my YTT, I metTawny Cortes& Sophia Kouame who are now close friends. Both have been advisors, mentors and provided me with opportunities throughout my yoga journey. Developing a friendship that transcends professional boundaries is something very special. For BIPOC yoga teachers, we celebrate and share each other's successes in an industry where it's not always so easy to be seen and appreciated.

Connection. noun
“A relationship in which a person or thing is connected or connected to something else.”Connections.“People with whom one has social or professional contact or with whom one is related, especially those who have influence and are in a position to offer help.”

Finding Yoga Connection in India

Anna has given me a lot of advice over the years and I discussed with her whether I should go on my own trip to India in 2018 or go on a pilgrimage with other yoga teachers. I was so happy that I did the latter: I traveled with you(link removed)and Hareesh Wallis (both Americans) and met some wonderful souls who have continued to support my yoga journey. I became friends with Jeremy Arnold, who encouraged me to teach my friends in his home studio. He helped support me so I could gain confidence before completing my YTT. I also met(link removed),(link removed)(both Americans) and Ava Riby-Williams. In addition to Leila, we belong, among other things, to a Yogis of Color group: a WhatsApp area where yogis can exchange experiences, get advice, give tips and recommendations and feel free to be filtered.

A smaller BIPOC wellness group was created by(link removed)I feel I will be forever indebted as this smaller group provided a safe space and allowed members of this group to feel even more held, supported, cared for and seen. These like-minded souls see me and, to use an American expression, “send the elevator back down” have provided wonderful opportunities to shine. My deepest thanks to(link removed)as a faculty member of(link removed),Donna Noblefor NoireFitFest and a good friend during the lockdown with regular supportive communications andGabriella Espinosafor women wellness retreat andAva Riby Williamsfor the Wellness Fest (May 20th).

How the Black Lives Matter movement changed friendships

Information sharing was at its peak last year, but the nuances and understanding surrounding the pandemic and the BLM movement varied from person to person, particularly outside of the Black community. I sometimes had a different kind of connection with non-BIPOC friends. The murder of George Floyd last year was tragic on many levels. I've received comments from non-BIPOC friends ranging from "I'm not sure what to do" or "I don't see color" to worse - some friends have no comment at all on George Floyd's murder and the #BLM protests. An article about how COVID is disproportionately affecting Black people was sent to me by one of these friends from a caring perspective, but no care was shown during the #BLM protests, and when I called out their silence on the protests, the silence continued. This was hurtful and is the type of dynamic that, for me, creates a difference in the depth and understanding of friendships between BIPOC and non-BIPOC friends.

How to find a friendship that fulfills your work and life

Back to the importance of connection; I am deeply grateful that I was in the BIPOC WhatsApp group and that Twanna Doherty, CEO and partner of Yogamatters, was also one of the members. I admit that I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Twanna was a woman of color, but then wondered why I didn't know that sooner.

As a community leader at Yogamatters, I navigate between the personal and professional: Twanna is now a friend and I also work with Yogamatters now - it's an interesting dynamic that I balance. The Twanna connection, another American connection, was one that I really didn't see coming or even dream about.

Twanna is like a super inspiring little big sister (I'm two years older than Twanna!). She is also an impressive businesswoman and has been running a brand for seven years. Despite her responsibilities as a businesswoman and head of a brand, Twanna can pause: see me, hear me. She is able to support my yoga journey as I navigate my own transitions in my personal and professional life: including a massive decision at 50 tochanging my career in HR and training as a yoga teacher. I was impressed by how much passion Twanna puts into Yogamatters, equally saving time and love for her family. She has the ability to be vulnerable and strong at the same time.

We're both straight-laced women and we think that's why Twanna and I connect so well. I was overwhelmed by their trust in me and their offer to offer me the role of Yogamatters Community Leader. As a new teacher - I graduated from Triyoga in 2019 - we both know that among the congratulations and great comments on ideas, there were probably a few raised eyebrows. The trust and support that Twanna and her team provide me is immeasurable.

It's great to build a friendship with someone - Twanna makes it easy - but I'm aware there's a layer of formality now that helps me navigate with my old HR hat on. As with any friendship, there are nuances and lines. I find the balance between friend and freelancer, performing well in each category.

What have I learned through all of this? The American connection was real, connections are real and really important. If you open your heart and mind to friendship, you will find good connections and they will stay with you as long as you let them.

Resources for friendship, connection and mindfulness

Finding ways to connect with yourself and others can be part of a routine you build into your daily habits. These basics can help you be more mindful and make it easier for you to relax.

The perfect cup
A wonderful gift offer once we are allowed to reconnect in the UK.

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I love this planner, it's great for recording thoughts for all the wonderful possibilities

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Create time for yourself: Bath salts help relax tense muscles, increase your well-being and give you the opportunity to spend time with yourself.

Ways to create gratitude
These cards are carefully created: each card shows some small reminders of what we can be grateful for.

Join me on Tuesday, May 11th as I sit down with my friend and Yogamatters Executive Director Twanna Doherty to talk about friendship, family, safe spaces, and finding her authentic voice. Don't miss this candid conversation between two friends.

AND: Yogamatters will also be giving away a yoga kit to 3 lucky people in the audience! ⁠(link removed)